Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
