Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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