maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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