hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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