I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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