we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
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I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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