So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
