Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
