I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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