The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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