whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
