; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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