There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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