My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia