24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar