i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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