I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
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His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
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So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over