Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
