Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
