You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
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Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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