you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.