is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.