guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
