Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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