i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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