This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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