so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize