Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
