I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
