Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you had me at cake vodka
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize