1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize