She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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