i need an iv and a liver transplant
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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