If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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