I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
