i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize