you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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