This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
