They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
