We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
