Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
