She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Your cock deserves a montage
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window