i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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