NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"