ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity