just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
