R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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