Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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