The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Randomize
