You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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