Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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