it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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