I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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